i can’t find it for all my efforts.

too much on my mind. too much sugar running through my veins. my hormones (its that time of the month, kids) are tricking my emotions and i find myself in a funk early this morning.

and i’m tired. that deep in your head and bones tired. which is probably why i can’t be bothered with capital letters at the moment.

5 performances in 48 hours.

most of it has been crazy good. there is nothing better than telling such a sweet story. but its been a lot harder than i expected. each time you want to make it good, to make it count. and that requires your focus and energy. it steals your feelings and gives them away to a willing audience.

tonight i’m thinking about lost things. and stepping forward and back.

i know i probably sound vague and cryptic. forgive me. its 2:37 am.

and i have to be up at 9:30 am.

i was just reminiscing tonight on something that is gone. and its good that its gone. my heart is a lot healthier and happier for it. but every once in a while that sneaky emotion of regret catches up with me as well as this all-too-familiar longing for affection and my head gets jumbled again. and my heart gets wistful.

the truth: Jesus loves me. this i know.

tonight that has to be good enough. it is good enough.

i have a hunch i’ll read this sometime in the near future and roll my eyes at these late-night ramblings.

“when they ask you what you’re thinking of, say love.” -the avett brothers